"I Know That Man Is Nothing"

Moses 1:10 "It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed"

The Recovery Book asks, "How did Moses describe himself as compared to God?"

In the few verses preceding vs 10 the Lord reveals himself to Moses and tells him that, "thou art my son," "And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son," "And now, behold, this one thing I show unto thee, Moses, my son," - three times the Lord declares that Moses is His son. But, in comparing himself to God Moses learns that he is "nothing."

William is only 4 days old, and in comparison to Philip he is "nothing." He can't feed himself, warm himself, bathe himself, run, walk - the only thing he can really do is cry. Philip is VERY powerful in comparison to William - he has mastered his body, works, plays, reasons, learns, has wisdom and knowledge that is unknown to William. Philip can care for him, discipline him, help him, provide safety and security, teach him, love him. We, as parents, learn much about Heavenly Father's work by performing that similar role for our children, on a much, much, smaller scale. But when we place ourselves in the role of Heavenly Father's child we realize, as did Moses, that we too are nothing.

When I consider that the Savior himself has pled with us to become as a little child, and King Benjamin elaborated on some of those qualities (submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things that the Lord sees fit to inflict even as a child doth submit to his father) I must admit that many time I am the antithesis of a child. How many times have I done things my own way, not even consulting the Lord? How many times have I consulted Him and then still done them my own way? And, when things have gone badly or I have not gotten my way I have acted like a child and cried. How many times have I tried to lose weight and leave Dr. Pepper alone on my own power or with my own understanding? How many times have I, in my arrogance, thought: I can do it - I don't need any help? How many times have I not understood the process of the atonement and not utilized its' great healing power because I didn't value it or recognize its' power? Have I not been, in essence, saying, "I am more powerful than God?" That certainly seems to be the case - I have not be humble or submissive. In fact - there have been times when I have not been full of love - rather full of judgment and condemnation (especially to my poor mother) because I had all the answers - just follow me - get up and move, yada, yada, yade. I can only beg her forgiveness and forgiveness from my Father in Heaven. He is merciful and I pray that with sincere repentance He will forgive me. My mother is the most forgiving woman that I know and I long to rush into her arms and beg her forgiveness and tell her how much I love her. At the moment I pray that my Father in Heaven will relay that message to her. And, I can try to become as a child, try to develop these attributes, and have faith that as a beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father He will help me become who I should be. I feel such sadness that it has taken me this long to recognize my nothingness.

The Recovery Book asks, "In what ways are you nothing when you do not have the help of God?"

When I consider the power, authority, knowledge, understanding, vision, experience, etc. of the Lord I know that I am unable to fathom them in the slightest. What kind of power must He have to create worlds without number? What kinds of knowledge must He have to create animals and vegitation? What kind of wisdom and foresight must He have in order to develop and implement the plan of salvation? What love must He have to have given me His Son as my Savior?

It only follows that without His help I am nothing.

He has provided everything that I have, everything that I am, and everything I need. I don't even think I can get my mind around that concept. My puny, finite mind can't even conceive, I fear, what that entails. And, when I think what has happened to individuals, groups, nations, and the entire world when they have completely turned their backs on the Lord, become evil, proud, and their hearts could not be softened I recognize that the Lord has the power, knowledge, understanding, authority, foresight, and ability to bring about our destruction.

However, without the Lord's help, I am more than confident in my own ability to bring about my own destruction. My weight, my addictions, my self righteousness, my arrogance, my pride, my spending, my laziness, etc. are all my own doing. These things have brought me where I am today. I did this to myself. The Lord is the only one who has the power to help me out of a mess that I created for myself. I pray for His mercy. I pray for His forgiveness. I pray for His strength to make me whole.

The Recovery Book asks, "In what ways are you of infinite worth?"

Other than His child, I don't know. I know that I love my own children with a love that is overwhelming and complete. I know that I recognize within them potential that has not as yet been met. In comparing me to my Father in Heaven I would assure the same would apply.

I see that as I turn to the Lord I can apply the atonement and become clean and healed. In so doing I become eligible for all the blessings of the Celestial Kindgom - a queen, a priestess to the most Hight God. I would become as my Father in Heaven is now - able to become a God - a God in embryo. This potential spans eternity and is of infinite worth. It makes my decisions here so important - and reminds me what is at stake. Will I allow a diet Dr. Pepper to keep me from who I can be? Will I continue in my arrogance rather than seeking the Lord's help, the Lord who knows all things and has all power, will I not utilize it or esteem it not? Will I quit doing the work required to peel back the onion or will I seek His face? I pray not.