Journeying Together

Many months ago (actually years - really?!?!) I had been watching the NBC hit reality program "Biggest Loser" about people who are morbidly obese and transform their lives through diet and exercise (I am still an avid fan) and they started advertising their online weightloss platform.  I was so frustrated by my own weight I decided to join.  At first it was a little awkward because I'm not very computer savvy and I don't have a lot of online experience but I found a great group of women and a few men that I quickly identified with and they took me in and we have become fast friends.  We come from all over the US - from Maine to California, and throughout Canada.  When I was in Utah last year I met three of them for a "Utah Summit" and it was so exciting to put actual people to posts.  This year my friend Gina, from Illinois, came down to visit and I had a terrific time with her and I have since visited her at her home on our way from Wisconsin.  I have also connected with a precious friend from our ward here and we've become exercise buddies and have the opportunity to connect nearly every day in this endeavor.

The thread is clearly a secular group of people utilizing the tools and gathering together for the purpose of weight loss.  There are at least five of us who are LDS and many others who are also Christian but because it is a secular group we rarely engage in the kinds of spiritual discussions that are so vital for my purposes.  Carol, from Vernal, Utah, and I felt the connection immediately and have had a few discussions and message one another about these more serious issues from time to time.  Both of us have recognized that for us, this journey has to be spiritual and believe that unless that is addressed we'll never truly be successful in this endeavor.  However, we both have families similar in size and make-up that keep us hopping and combining that with the time difference we seldom have the regular discussions our souls hunger for.  Gina, my friend from Illinois, is Christian and I don't know her particular denomination, but we share very strong testimonies of the atonement of our Savior and the knowledge that He is the only way in which we can be healed.  She is single and only an hour time difference and we are able to chat frequently about these weighty matters.  She has been instrumental in helping me focus and search for spiritual understanding rather than just thinking about calories in/calories out.

As I struggled for those many months she was strong and called me frequently.  She wouldn't let me pull away for too long into strange paths and kept me in her prayers and did everything she could to help me out of the dark. 

For about the last five months she has been going through something similar and three weeks ago it became more of a crisis.  She started eating junk and soon the eating careened out of control and into full-fledged rebellion.  I knew she was struggling and I feel terrible that I didn't keep closer contact.  I was busy with holiday preparations and having Cherstin and her family here and then Joey and his family, I lost track of hours and days all the while she was in such pain.  I emailed her on Friday and got no response.  Hours later I did the same and got no response.  I tried calling and no one answered but I left a message.   I had the distinct impression that she was in trouble but I didn't know what else to do.  I called again and left a message inquiring if she were out of town, if her sister had taken a turn for the worst, or if her friend was having problems, or if she were ill...I told her I loved her and was worried.  She returned my call almost immediately.  My suspicions were confirmed and I knew that she had been avoiding me.  She really was in trouble.

We texted for nearly an hour when I finally decided to get out of bed and called her.  We talked for another hour but I knew she was in trouble.  When I went to bed, at nearly 3 am, I prayed that she would be able to hold on.  When I got up two hours later to get Cherstin, Dan and the kids off I renewed that supplication.  I went back to bed and got up about 7:30 to go to the gym and so I decided to text Gina and let her know that I had my phone with me until I went to my aqua fit class and if she were in trouble please call or hang on until after we could talk.  Surprisingly, when I sent that text she texted me right back.  She hadn't slept a wink and had written a whole long series of emails that she started to sent me...she was trying to totally cut off communication.  She had given up on herself.

I fired back a series of texts that told her that wasn't going to happen and if I needed to drive to Illinois I would so she better start talking.  She and I decided that we would talk later that day.  When we did it was a long call (probably at least 2 hours) and we were able to discuss what was happening and to support one another.  I shared with her some of the things I had tried to share the night before, things that had been revelatory in nature and had given me insight and understanding into me and to this effort.  She seemed to feel 100# lighter and shared some of her insights that I have been grateful for. 

This could be viewed as a long, drawn out story of nothing much.  However, it is a testament of the importance of journeying together.  That is true for husbands and wives, for brothers and sisters and families in general, for the church family, and for communities and neighborhoods.  But it is just as true for friends and people we meet.  In reality we really are just one big family.  We are Heavenly Father's family and it is only by loving His children and helping them that we gain an understanding of how much He loves us...each one of us.  He never gives up on us.  We shouldn't either.  And whatever we can do to lift, comfort, support, teach, or help one another really is one of the only ways that we can repay Him for that same effort He has expended on our behalf...although it is merely a beggar's mite indeed.  None of us can make it back to our Heavenly Home on our own.  It cannot be done.  I have tried too often to do that way...to my own peril...and for the life of me I don't know why...I know that it is often the case that He answers our prayers through the hands of others and I want to be His daughter and for Him to know that He can depend on me...sadly...as long as I don't have company.