Still With It

Today is my 5th day of Atkins. My resolve is still pretty high but I know that this is going to be a very, very, very long and concerted effort. I am also under no illusion about how quickly I can lose my way. But so far - so good.

I have been quilting a lot lately and have been thinking about the construction of quilts. Usually they are made up of very small pieces of fabric that have been sewn into "blocks" and the blocks are then sewn together to create a quilt top.

I guess that I have been looking at losing weight as deconstructing myself when in reality it is more constructing. Yes, I am deconstructing the weight and as many of the ill effects as possible, but the reality is that I am in bondage. My knees are impossibly stiff and painful and swollen. All of my joints are suffering. Those are the physical effects that I can feel - but I can image the condition of my arteries, liver, kidneys, heart, and pancreas - I doubt that they are in any better condition. My activities are becoming more and more restricted by my obesity and the ravages that it is taking. So, in my efforts to lose (especially in my success) I am constructing a new life - the ability to move, participate fully and to regain my health. I am gaining a life - my life. It's about time! And - in reality - time is passing whether or not I do anything about my obesity - so I ought to take advantage of each day and put it is a "block" of ten pounds here and ten pounds there, lower cholesterol levels a little bit at a time, less pressure on my knees one pound at a time until I whole.

Let the Journey Begin

Today I decided to switch to Atkins. Rigorously. My thinking was that I have been trying really hard not to snack, eat more balance meals, lots of fiber...but I am just retaining water and the scale isn't moving and my joints are killing me. Maybe, at this juncture, this has been increasing inflammation...so I am switching.

Today for Breakfast:
2 eggs
3 slices of ham 3 carb
1 tsp. butter
sprinkle of salt and pepper

Lunch:
6 oz can of kirkland tuna
1/4 mayo
2 tbl. relish 2 carb
5 stalks of celery 6 carb

Dinner:
Hamburger
Fried cabbage and onion 5 carb
Olive oil, butter, carroway seed
Cheese, cheedar 1 carb

I have also drunk well over my 8 glasses of water and taken my measurements. I can see that I am going to have to do some planning to eat this way again or I will get very bored and lose my resolve. Today has been a good day though - just 13 more days of induction - and then I can add nuts and other things that will give a little more variety. Three more days until my sugar stores have been depleted and many of the craving cease. Right at the moment I feel strong, committed, and proactive.

Discouragement

I haven't posted for a long time. Things have been pretty hectic and sometimes very difficult...but mostly I have just not given my all to the cause of being my best self. I am back where I started and very discouraged about it.

I have heard that an alcoholic usually has to reach bottom before they can climb out of their self made pit - and perhaps that is where I am. So maybe this discouragement is a good thing in a very twisted way! LOL

I have decided that I will log my food here as well as any exercise. Maybe that needs to be the first step. So tomorrow the journey begins anew. Maybe I am like Lehi and his family - constantly going back to Jerusalem before they really got started! Just wish I were that faithful!