Wow! What a Tear!

Since April I have known I was in trouble. I have tried unsuccessfully to pull myself back from the brink...to no avail.

Last night Rich and I were watching an episode of "In Plain Sight" about the lead character's mom having to confront her alcoholism. It was so poignant and I knew that was where I have been since November...not wanting to admit it to the world...even myself. But who am I kidding? My binging is there for all the world to see, whether it is in private or not.

A couple of weeks ago I posted a couple of scriptures on my fridge - hoping that seeing them would make me confront myself. Instead I just ate from places outside of the fridge.

Last night I downloaded Ballard's talk, "The Struggle for the Soul" and vowed I would read it at least three times a day and EVERY time I was tempted to eat something not on my program. Old habits die hard. I went to the dentist this morning (they had called with a cancellation and I needed the crown ASAP) and since I only had 45 minutes to make the appointment I didn't get the talk read. After I came out of the Dentist's I cleaned out the car, ran through the car wash, and of course, went through Chick-fil-a for a couple of diet Dr. Peppers. The Dr. Peppers would have been bad enough but they were getting rid of their left over biscuits from breakfast and asked if I wanted one...yes! NO!!! But I still took it and ate it!!! WHY???? Well - I am back home and pulling the talk...I need to face me NOW!!!